[Crross-posted over at LesbianDad.]

During Banned Books Week, we all get to reflect on the life-saving quality of the books in our lives (Liza did here earlier in the week, and so did I). Continuing the celebration, I wanted to collect in one post a bunch of useful book-ish resources for youse LGBT parents out there, or those of youse who know some, and want to figure out what to get their kiddles for the next gift-giving occasion.

Some time back, I added a Kids’ books page to my blog, reproducing on it a book list that was distributed to members of the San Francisco Bay Area’s Our Family Coalition. The woman who shared it had done a book search for her own kids’ school, as I’m sure many of us have. To this, I added a smattering of additional resources:

• San Francisco Public Library’s Rainbow Celebration Booklist for Children is also a good place to start: a sound, briefly annotated list of books for young readers and featuring diverse alternative family structures.

• COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere) has produced book lists for Children with LGBT Parents and Teens and Young Adults with LGBT Parents.

• The blog Worth The Trip, provides reviews of queer books for kids and teens, by a “librarian and children’s & young adult literature specialist, and life-long reader of LGBTQ literature.”

• Mombian Books is a place for folks to share recommendations about books for LGBT families, run out of Dana Rudolph’s prodigious resource, Mombian.

• At Family Pride’s eStore you can buy some of the books in the SF Public Library or the COLAGE or the OFC lists, knowing that some of the proceeds will go to the organization. Of special note are the preschool, elementary school, middle school, and highschool “packs,” which include selections of eight or so books widely considered valuable and appropriate for a given age. A perfect gift for those with the wherewithal to give their school, or to ask their school to purchase, or to be generously hinted at before, say, a baby shower.

• this annotated list, which was created as a resource for a Spring 2007 Gender in Children’s Literature class at The College of New Jersy, and

• The Amazon.com list “Beyond Heather Has Two Mommies: Picture Books w/ Gay Parents,” from “Rainbowheart,” which (as of this writing) includes 40 different titles. I love to support Powell’s Books, the indie giant in Portland (my parents courted in Portland), but their site doesn’t currently support this e-z community list-sharing feature, and some of the books on these lists they don’t even carry (alas).

• Last, for those whose little one(s) aren’t even born yet, or literate, and are simply compiling their own baby book, BabySakes.com actually has “baby memory books” for two mom or two dad families:

The Story of ME can be ordered with the “two moms” or “two dads” page pack, which includes a family tree featuring same-gender parents and 2 pages for information about each parent. “The Story of ME” can be customized with your choice of 20 different covers. “Molly West’s Baby’s First Year” is designed to be gender-neutral featuring references to “parent” wherever you would normally see “mom” or “dad” allowing it to be easily customized for same-sex parents.

Do these people understand an under-served niche market or what? (What’s that sound I hear? The thundering hooves of every other marketing executive realizing the vast commercial potential of the gayby boom?)

I have to think that the print resources available now are legion, compared to when my own beloved was a young girl being raised by lesbians a coupla decades back (it was only in 1990 that we got the legendary titles Heather Has Two Mommies and Daddy’s Roommate — Alyson Wonderland charts their history here). Still, when I see that the various available lists of books for kids with LGBT people or families in ‘em numbers just a few dozen (by my count), and I think about how many kids are being raised in our households (millions, by the last census’ count), I sure think that more of us ought to be getting into the children’s book-writing business.

Mmmm, children’s book-writing…

Ok, I admit it, I’m a geek. My favorite kind of “music” is NPR.

In moments like this morning, I know why. This morning, Morning Edition ran a Story Corps segment that made me cry in my car. While I was driving.

The interview was between a 14 year old girl and her mother. The mother, Sue Hyde, told the story about how hard it was to grow up in rural Illinois in a large nuclear family, knowing that she liked girls. At 19, Sue came out to her own mother, whose first reaction was to ask “what did I do wrong?”

I’m sure many of us can relate.

Several years later, Sue’s mother became gravely ill. Sue and her partner sat up with her the night before she died, and during one of her last moments of being awake and aware, Sue’s mother told her and her partner that she wanted them to be happy. (Listen to the story. I am NOT doing it justice.)

By this time in the interview, Sue is crying and telling her own daughter, Jesse, that she doesn’t want Jesse to have to wait so long for her blessing. And Jesse, in turn, assures her mom that she knows, and she is.

It was one of those moments that are almost indescribable – it was the universal story of how much we want our parents to love and approve of us, and the joy and relief that comes with getting that love and approval after uncertainty or even denial. To listen to it being shared through yet another generation was so sweet. I wish I had enough money to give those StoryCorps geniuses a million dollars to keep up the amazing work.

Possibly the most surprising thing about this interview is the fact that the word “lesbian” is never even uttered – perhaps especially remarkable since Sue is a professional organizer in our community. But this story is all about being a human being, a daughter, and a mother. And yet, the fact that Sue is a lesbian is critical to her human struggle, and clear in the context of the interview.

Please listen. Don’t read the essay, or do, but don’t stop there. The written version doesn’t begin to convey the touching, difficult, love and loss in the interview.

I know that the first few weeks of January, for many people, are filled with attempts to keep to new years resolutions. Whether that be getting to they gym, spending more time with your family, eating better, or watching less tv, I think I know one resolution that many of us have thought about but haven’t quite accomplished. Giving back to the queer community.

Right now, my wife S and I are in the middle of the process of being considered as volunteer advisors for the local queer youth organization. If we’re selected, we’ll go through a weekend training, and be asked to help staff drop-in hours at their location, and maybe to help plan/lead learning sessions based around what our passions are. I’m thinking I might like to do something cooking, and S may do something around resume building. This program is run by both paid staff, the youth involved, and by volunteer advisors.

For a long time, in fact, as long as I’ve known a program like this was in existence here, I’ve wanted to be a part of it. I just kept putting it off, and things like making my own family seemed to eat up too much of my time to be able to offer my support. This year, I decided, would be different, and I’m following through with my decision. I look forward to “helping the youth.” That’s the number one reason that people give when they’re asked why they volunteer for programs like this. The other common response? “Because I wish something like this existed when I was younger.” Are you one of those people? I was. I mean, I was blessed with an incredible friend set, and support from my family, and even had two of my own “mentors” who helped guide me towards adulthood. But there was never a “group” setting, filled with both my peers and older people who could offer advice, and offer programming in which I could both learn new skills, and also have leadership opportunities.

It’s not only the youth that could use support, but being as I hope to one day parent a teenager (and lets be honest, often times my sense of humor and enjoyment are at that adolescent level) I’m sure the experience I will gain in communicating with young people will eventually help me. However, queer youth are not the only people who need our support and volunteer efforts. Elder centers, political organizations, social networking groups, and other service agencies are all places to consider when figuring out which is the right venue for you to explore volunteering. Volunteering will help you meet other people with similar interests, and may offer the opportunity to explore topics and experiences you never thought you’d be exposed to.

I’m looking forward to being a positive roll model for young queers and also for my future children. What has volunteering done for you?