Usually we talk here about our families: the many ways we bring them together and shepherd them, the joys we experience and the challenges we face along the way. But today I want to share some thoughts about the medium, rather than the message. Some of the tips I paste below might be of use to anyone, but especially for those of you just starting out.

The unique qualities of this medium are what draw many of us to it as a venue for communication and (virtual) community-building. Weblogs, unlike every other means of communicating, are distributed globally and nearly instantaneously for absolutely anyone to stumble across, free. Relatively few impediments block a person’s ambling up to the blogular microphone and holding forth to whomever will listen: access to a networked computer and the ability to figure out fairly simple blogging software interfaces are the only two absolutes. A huge bonus is that, for those of us who aren’t high profile published authors, the reach of this medium is substantially wider than print media.

And yet we can’t really know exactly who is listening. At best we can gather statistics about how many listeners there are. Blogs enable a kind of public privacy, if that makes sense, and people behave on them — either as authors or commenters — a lot like they do in their cars. Which means of course that some people can’t keep themselves from cutting you off and then flipping you the bird. This piece in the NY Times on Monday takes up the question of a voluntary blogospheric code of conduct, signified by badges folks could post on their sidebars and the like, and inspired by what’s in place at BlogHer.

Heather Armstrong, progenitor of Dooce and she-ro of a great many women and mom bloggers, has fielded her share of hecklers.* She spoke to that a bit in the Times piece. But she’s got lots of other proactive things to say about bloggery as well. She was interviewed at the 2005 BlogHer conference by JD Lasica, and had many gems to offer up the gals just starting out. Here’s the link to it on his blog. It’s only four minutes long, and nifty to watch if you’re a regular reader of her stuff and are curious about her “actual” vibe (refreshingly earnest and humble). But I’ve also culled what I thought were some of the highlights.

In answer to Lasica’s questions about what advice she’d give rookie bloggers:

• Try to find a story in the most mundane events.

• Blog as if your worst enemy might be reading it. Don’t say something in your blog that you wouldn’t say to their face.

• Tell a story. Have a specific voice. Write honestly.

• Be prepared for backlash because it will eventually happen.

• If you’re blogging for traffic, you’re doing it for the wrong reasons. You should be blogging because you like to write. Or you like to share stories. Or you like to share information.

And in answer to his question about what she had been gathering from the BlogHer conference thus far:

• It was truly rewarding to hear about other people who have been brutally honest on the internet and what it’s done to help other people who are feeling alienated in their lives.

• It’s a new medium and we’re still trying to figure things out. A lot of the women here are pioneering this. And we’ll see how it goes.

I tip my hat to all you sisters who are part of the pioneering national (international?) LesbianFamily community. There’s no doubt in my mind why so many of us engage in this forum: cultivating community is as vital as oxygen to us as we gather and build our families. So many of us feel like we’re laying down the pavement on the road just a few feet ahead of ourselves as we go, inventing language that works, bending existing traditions and forging new ones, creating a shared culture, really, as lesbian famililes. We need each other’s company for this work, and I don’t know anyone who has the luxury of a quorum of lesbian families on their actual block. But the virtual neighborhood – for which this site functions as a spacious public park, I should think – is bustling!

* If you haven’t read it, Dooce chronicles the household and musings of a hetero mom with an abundant sense of humor. Here’s a piece that manages to include references to both BlogHer and lesbians in it, thus making it as relevant an introduction as any.