All the nice, airy-fairy reasons I said I created this are true — I think it’s important to help lesbian families find others in similar situations, and for the world to see how normal and how diverse our families are.

But other than Jill telling me I should go do this already, that she would be ok with the time it would take, the second biggest thing that put me over the edge was when I joined ClubMom.com.

When you register at ClubMom, you have to check off all these boxes, including — and you can’t leave them all blank — “Are you: __ Married, __ Single, __ Divorced, or __ Widowed?”

Well, I picked married, but since I can’t legally marry where I live, it isn’t technically true. But surely there are plenty of moms, not just lesbian moms, whose relationship status isn’t quite that cut & dried.

Then you check boxes for your “interests” and “challenges” in the Mom Network — how you find moms with similar interests or challenges. Lesbians? Nope. LGBT? Nope. Civil Rights? Nope. Feminism? Nope. Alternative Families? Nope. You can list your own, but it’s a lot harder to find “creative” listings.

All this happened back in late July or early August, and so far 3 lesbian ClubMom members managed to find me. I just searched again, and found 5 including me.

ClubMom also has paid bloggers. Like 40 of them. They’re mommy bloggers from almost all walks of life: military families, babies, kids with special needs, homeschooling moms, budgeting moms, older moms, dieting moms…but no lesbian moms, or even the more vague “alternative families.”

Back when I first joined ClubMom, I assumed that all of these things were oversights.

I went to the feedback form and left them a lovely note suggesting alternative descriptions of family structure, “interests” and “challenges” to add to the list, and lesbian mommy bloggers.

No word back.

A few days later, ClubMom’s greeter who was assigned to me sent a msg asking if I was enjoying myself and connecting with other moms.

I explained my sitution and asked if she could help find out why I hadn’t heard back from anyone “official” at ClubMom about my note.

She would be happy to, and in the mean time, here’s how to connect with other nursing moms.
No word yet, nor again from the community greeter person. That was August 7.

Since then, I’ve heard from another high-profile lesbian mommy blogger (maybe she’ll out herself in the comments), who also raised these issues and talked with them about becoming a ClubMom blogger, but it didn’t pan out.

I’m starting to think maybe they don’t wanna hear from lesbian families.

So I created a place where we could find each other and have a cacaphony of voices. And it’s an inclusive place, where our straight friends and family don’t have to tick an untrue box in order to hang out.

Last thoughts, before I go to sleep. Should I add more blogroll categories? I was thinking maybe a “Butch” category (help me think of a clever name) and a “TransParent” one. Does anyone have a link to a trans/parenting blog? What about “Known Donor”? (again, help with the name?)

Are there other ways you think people coming here might like to sort through all your wonderful blogs?